EMOTIONAL DISCIPLINE: Core Practices

RESOLVING FEAR

A way to establish the courage necessary to face fears, understand and deal with them. Fear is not meant to last. It is a wake up call to awareness.
Attention required!

EXPERIENCE THE FEAR:
I allow myself to walk directly through the expected storm and settle in its eye. What is it that I think might happen? I let myself imagine it actually happening. I fill in the details, seeing and hearing, thinking and feeling, allowing the fearful experience to unfold as if it were happening right now. I breathe with bodily awareness right through the experience. I find myself on the other side. I no longer need to fear the fear!
IDENTIFY THE FEAR:
Now that I have released some of the energy in the fear by allowing myself to feel it happening, I begin to think clearly about the fear. What am I afraid might happen? What is so terrible about that? If that happens, then what? And then? I follow the chain of events and meanings until I get to the core of the fear. What I am really afraid of is …
EVALUATE THE FEAR:
Is my fear reasonable or unreasonable? Proportionate or exaggerated? How likely is it that what I fear will happen? Fear is the child of two parents, belief and imagination. Beliefs are logical deductions based on past experience. The way things once happened is the way they will happen again. Imagination fills in the colors and sounds on these expectations. How much does my fear belong in the past? How real is the current danger? Is there reason to fear?
HANDLE IMMEDIATE DANGER:
If it’s clear the fear is reasonable and the danger is imminent, action is required here and now. The body surges into fight/flight mode. Tremendous energy is available to end the threat, either by escaping or confronting. If I choose escape, it is important to acknowledge that it may be only a temporary fix. Perhaps it’s better to deal with the fear right now. What needs to happen to bring the threat to an end?
PREPARE FOR EVENTUAL DANGER:
If the danger is in the future, I need to know precisely what it is that I fear, in order to know what precautions would be helpful. What can I do now, or in the near future, so that I am ready to handle what I fear might happen? Are there new skills I need to learn? Do I need support from others? What will these preparations cost me? Considering what it is that I fear, is the cost worth the trouble? Am ready to deal with the fear when the time comes?
RESOLVE UNREASONABLE FEAR:
The essential skill here is some form of conscious relaxation. I need to learn some form of meditative breathing that steadily deepens my bodily experience of feeling safe. This means shifting my chemistry from the sympathetic nervous system (fight/flight) to its parasympathetic companion. If my body is relaxed, I cannot be feeling fear. Once I have learned this skill, I place myself in a relaxed state, while steadily confronting and letting go of my fear. There is no reason to be afraid at the moment, and so I am choosing to release the fear, and calm myself.
SPIRITUALITY:
What might you add to, or notice in your experience of, each of the above steps, that would support your awareness of your relationship with the divine?

Fear is not meant to last.
When the danger has passed, it is time to let it go.
All is well.

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